Table of Contents
My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.
Jim Valvano
Fatherhood: A Good Night Ritual
Good night, sleep tight, and don’t let the bed bugs bite. Although told to me by my mother, this saying is ageless and forms the evening ritual I often use to put my children to bed. Yes, like many children their age, they fear the dark. Who knows, the boogieman may be in the closet or under their bed, or the unknown noise outside got their infinitely wandering and curious minds to develop a story about what strange creature may lurk outside the bedroom window.
Still, nevertheless, the mission is set: get them to bed happy, content, and fear-free so that they can start the day off right, and you can finish the day’s work or have a few moments of relaxation to remember why you work so hard at this in the first place. A fatherhood program, what beautiful bliss there is to be found in the day to day hustle and bustle it provides.
The Importance of Fatherhood
The fatherhood role is the most important job we will ever take on as men. Is it Love? Yes. Is it work? Exhausting at a minimum, it is a never-ending Groundhog Day at its maximum. However, it is the most rewarding experience we will ever undertake in the journey to find the root meaning of masculinity.
So what drives the journey of the Modern-Day Mythic Father to engage in this heroic epic of epics? Simply put, our ability to engage forms the foundation of our mythopoetic and archetypal journey to understand and navigate our emotions in a way that creates good fruit in our everyday lives. Willpower is at the helm as we learn to overcome fear, face the daemons of our shadow, and push forward to be good men, husbands, and fathers, regardless of whether we had or did not have a positive father figure in our lives.
The Psychology of Being a Dad: Behind Personal Experience
Tonight, my son asked me to put him to sleep. Like many, he craves closeness when nighttime falls. Archetypal in nature, the night elicits inner fears regarding our capacity to control or not control the inner and outer landscapes that directly relate to our safety. Being his father, I comply but then become upset when he breaks a rule, wanting to disengage from my part of the deal.
Wrong? Maybe. Is there a lesson there? Probably! But that is yet to be determined.
On my end, a child must learn about cause and effect, keeping one’s word, and learning the most essential skill we will ever develop: empathy. However, was the possible removal of myself as a safety object too harsh? That is yet to be determined. Nevertheless, the exchange got me to think about our conversation actively. My son, who may be unconscious of the lesson I attempted to teach, found a way to move us back to even.
While being a parent is difficult, it is essential to remember that even the parents spoken of in myths, fairytales, and world religions frequently were mediocre. It is the ritual or parenthood that counts. Our duty as dads is to help children make sense of their inner workings and confront the fears elicited by their outside environment by showing firmness, fairness, and consistency in the relationship.
For our children, the ability to “walk a mile in your shoes” counts (both figuratively and literally) so they can develop a sense of internal and external mastery. In turn, this creates self-esteem and makes them realize they are capable of the big things in life.
May blessings find you on your journey of parenthood my friends. Let the ins and outs, highways and byways always be bountiful in the lessons they teach, as you envision, chart a course, and advance confidently in the direction of your dreams.
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It is our choice to believe in the beauty of dreams unfolding. When we direct our mind’s eye to belief, faith guides us in the direction necessary to realize our Self as it unfolds into its most optimal being.
Are you being your best possible Self? Dr. Thomas Maples explores our personal and collective journey to realize our ultimate potential through the lens of psychology, personal development, and the myths that drive our journey forward.
