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There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow men. True nobility lies in being superior to your former self. ~ Ernest Hemingway

Awhile back I ran into this great and vibrant blogger. I have always loved to read articles for alternative health solutions, and thought you would enjoy reading her blog. Her name is Ilona Pulianauskaite and she is an avid writer for general dietary, psychological, and emotional health solutions. This article is written as a collaboration between us, in an interview format, to show how personality emerges as a key construct to drive overall Self-Realized development. You can check out her great blog at https://easydiet.blog/

About Ilona Pulianauskaite

I am Ilona, 27 years old from France. I started blogging 5 month ago, in first place i wanted to share my smoothy and other recipes, then I expanded the subject and felt the need to talk about mental health, as it was difficult for me to find good content about it when i needed it. I just wished to help as much as I can, and by talking about it I was helping myself as well, I guess.

Now my blog is about barely everything, i like to share my moods, my thoughts, positive content, and less positive sometimes to try to motivate people to care about what is really important. People inspire me and I wish to inspire people. The world is all about sharing, supporting each other and love for life. Come around I’ll be glad to share with you.

Personality and Self

“Personality is a mask you believe in.”

Dr. White

Ilona – When we was kids we follow some example, copy friends, brother and sister, parents. We do this because we search each other, and build ourselves. Take the good, sometime the bad and become someone individual.

Tom – Imagine if you were the only person on Earth. Nothing else and no one else is present. There would be nothing to aspire towards. As Ilona said, there would be no-one to look up to, no family members to copy, no teachers to learn from. We would lack the simple capacity to grow and would eventually deteriorate into nothing. We would have no need for a personality, no need for opinions to express. We would not be even an individual, because we would have nothing with which to compare our unique qualities. We would have nothing to give freely to others, and love would cease to exist. The beauty of art, love, and creativity would be hidden from the world, because there would be nothing or no one to share that experience with. This is life at its most primal and fearful level.

“Our personality should be impenetrable even to ourselves.”

Fernando Pessoa

Ilona – After, when we grow, we will be affected by events that happen in our life. Those events will modify our own personality.

Then maturity will come, it can happen at different ages as we are all different, and we all have different lives. The maturity will again affect us radically and change the way we see the life, we see ourself, and the way we act.

Tom – The maturing personality is something of an enigma. Within each of us exists a self and a higher Self that we aspire towards. While the self is that personality we present to the world, a persona or mask if you will call it that, the Self is that hidden, inner space, likened to our soul, that moves us at the deepest levels of existence. While our personality martures to allow us to freely share its beauty with others, the higher Self drives us to aspire to never before reached heights, and become that which we strive to become.

“Personality is like a charioteer with two headstrong horses, each wanting to go in different directions.”

Martin Luther King, Jr.

Ilona – We build our personality and identity during all our life. Of course there is and we can have some habits at birth, but at the end the most important I believe is education and a healthy life. This will make us who we are.

Tom – Personality arises in relationship to others. We must have a mirrored reflection by which to grow. The self we show others, and the Self we aspire to become.

Health, wealth, happiness, and a love for learning drive this process. Even Tom Hanks in the movie The Castaway needed a companion, Wilson (the ball) to survive his horrifying ordeal. Without this antagonist, Hanks could not foster the hope, the courage, the will, or even the strength of resolve needed to get through the terrifying experience the movie presented. Even though Wilson was a ball, it acted as a source of companionship and brought forward the hidden, better parts of the Hank’s personality, that aspect we call Self.

Personality lies within, but is only the tip of the iceberg. It is the personae that lies in the eye of the beholder who can only see what is present on the surface mask we allow others to see. But a secondary calling pulls at us, much like the voice of an ever loving father or mother that calls for us to go within. This is the calling of Self, and it is a much deeper level of understanding than the personality can ever fathom. Go within, Dream, act, believe. Achieve, and Transform through honoring your true Self! Our personality is a key construct or healthy psychological growth; but don’t let it keep you from developing a quiet love affair with the Self you wish to become.


3 responses to “Personality and Self: A Blog Collaboration with Ilona Pulianauskaite”

  1. Interesting post, this was a great read. One chapter attracted my attention though, and more specifically a few key words:

    “Ilona – We build our personality and identity during all our life. Of course there is and we can have some habits at birth, but at the end the most important I believe is education and a healthy life. This will make us who we are.
    Tom – Personality arises in relationship to others. We must have a mirrored reflection by which to grow”

    In other words… when we chose the wrong mirror to have in front of us (like the wrong partner for instance), we might actually develop some signs that do not reflect who we really are within… In other words, the choice of the mirror, will affect our own inner development and potentially our future…

    • Dr. Thomas Maples – Stockton, California – Dr. Thomas Maples, Ph.D. is a licensed psychotherapist, author, and the founder of The Stockton Therapy Network. As a Marriage and Family Therapist, he has helped many people resolve interpersonal conflict, heal from the emotional distress, and overcome mental health problems such as depression, anxiety, and issues that result from personality disorders. He also specializes in helping couples resolve interpersonal problems, marital discord, and parent / child relationship conflicts by helping his clients identify the sources of relationship conflict, find areas of growth they can agree to engage, and setting a plan to enact those changes to assure relational growth. As a researcher and writer, Dr. Maples focuses on developmental, analytical, and psychoanalytic methods of psychology. Through his writings, Dr. Tom has helped countless people understand, plan, and implement effective paths to reach optimal psychological, spiritual, and physiological development. "Advance Confidently in the Direction of Your Dreams."
      Dr. Thomas Maples says:

      This is very true. However, the mirror we also have before us creates the means of lessons the soul immediately needs to reflect upon as an aspect of its inner growth. This is somewhat of a rabbit hole. We can wander deeply into trenches. Soul work is a digging type of work, and the digging is a difficult proposition. But in the end, it is exactly what the soul needed to work on in order effect our individuated growth forward. Hope this helps.

  2. Thank you for the heads up on Ilona Pulianauskaite!

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