Table of Contents
Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow.
Helen Keller
Self-Esteem: A Fictional Case Analysis
Every morning, she stared in the mirror, ashamed of what she saw looking back at her. With a resilient spirit and being loved by her friends and boyfriend, her essence breathed popularity itself. Yet, only if the others knew of her true feelings.
Her school loved her. Her teachers adored her. But for what? Did they know?
No one knew the loathing behind the pale blue eyes peering back from the mirror into the depths of her soul. Yes, a million flaws were looking back into her being, but what could she do? Where could she go? Who could she talk to?
She had never had feelings like this before. Everything changed when her mom and dad divorced. But she was the strong one, especially for her younger brother, who always looked up and turned to her for advice on navigating childhood life.
Who am I? What is the meaning of this? Where am I going in life? All swirled in her head as she lay restless, waiting for the storm to calm. A tear swelled in the corner of her eye, and she could feel it roll down her cheek as the pull of her dreamlike state slowly moved her deeper from consciousness.
Seconds later… she came to, as the phone pulled her away from her trancelike state. Welcome to a new day. Sluggish but aware, she felt the mirror call her to her morning meditation. But for what purpose?
(This section represents a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, events, and incidents are the products of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or of actual events is purely coincidental.)
Self-Esteem and Understanding Behavior as a Symptom or a Dream
As a graduate student, I loved case studies. As a researcher and teacher, I love to give them. Case study methodology creates a greater understanding of normal and pathological nuances typical of our maturation journey. Through this methodology, we can weed out two competing polarities through critical thought to reach a more significant and mutually congruent truth that honors both ends of any given phenomenon, even if the story is fictional. It allows us to practice, analyze, and explore qualities present in a storyline, to develop further understanding of our individual and collective plight to realize Self-potential.
What do we see presented here? Our case appears to be a teenage girl, a daughter, and an older sister with one sibling (a brother) who recently underwent the divorce of her parents. She seems to have depression, maybe anxiety, body image issues, acute stress, or an adjustment issue caused by parental divorce. Is her personality intact or fractured? Well, the answer can be all of the above. The simple fact is we don’t have enough information to form an opinion, at least diagnostically. However, explicit behaviors consistent with low self-esteem can be a precursor to any diagnostic considerations explained above.
In the United States, there is a clear empirical emphasis on psychology to understand symptoms from a medically diagnostic perspective to ameliorate their presence. But behaviors are only one part of psychopathology, and even more detrimental, they also link to normal behavioral states that underlie typical maturational sequences. So, how do you kill a proverbial cancer of unwanted behavioral response through a methodological treatment regimen while keeping or even amplifying the positive aspects of the same intrapsychic phenomenon we wish to keep and possibly amplify to drive typical intrapsychic development?
Creating effective treatment from a positive and strength-based perspective can be challenging, especially from the lens of medical psychology. Psychoanalysis and analytical forms of psychology would have you engage in treatment methodologies that are very different from behaviorism, cognitive behavioral therapies, humanistic, or experiential approaches to treatment. But outside of the confines of theory, let’s look at what is important here: In medicine, there is a critical oath that bears mentioning.
Primum non-nocere, the oath to “first do no harm” is an ethical mandate that is easy to understand. However, its practice is far from mainstream. When the primary focus is on the disease, it is easy to categorize that which is seen from a diagnostic perspective; however, that may not be in the best interest of an interested party, who may present with numerous symptoms common to a disorder, but whose main problem lies in a typical developmental paradigm.
Let’s say that our protagonist comes to us as a middle-aged woman. Would this change the lens through which you perceive her plight? Let’s say she is a 16-year-old girl budding into womanhood. Just the facts of the case by age alone should change our views about what we perceive from her storyline. By understanding the story for what it is, within the context of who she is, we may glean insight into the storyline she presents that exists separately from, let’s say, a categorically diagnostic presentation.
Here, we see our protagonist lacks self-esteem; a lack of self-esteem is a catalyst for diagnoses such as depression, anxiety, and nerves. It can affect other mental health concerns, such as mood and her sense of self, or even cause psychotic symptoms. As we can see, the protagonist of our story has negative feelings about herself. If prolonged, this level of low self-esteem could even lead to personality conflicts. However, if treated, our protagonist can learn skills to handle those daily concerns of antagonistic stress, whether internal or external.
How can we help our protagonist become fully engaged in her journey to work a dream she sees fit? First, we must help her understand and release past conflicts. By learning to release the past’s grasp on the present moment, she can begin to dream life forward; she may develop the ability to envision, chart a course, and navigate towards a dream capable of bringing the beauty of self-esteem to so desperately desires in her life.
Building Self-Esteem: Keep Your Face to the Sun
How do we build the often elusive construct of self-esteem and the competent feelings that integrate with this state of being?
Self-esteem comes from a guiding light that we create through identifying a dream, charting its course, aspiring towards its destination, and setting out to realize that dream’s intent. Low self-esteem comes from a person’s willingness to turn their back on that guiding light or the nature of their aspirations.
As Helen Keller says, let us keep our face to the sun. The sun is archetypal. It not only gives light, it provides life. While this definition is symbolic, just as a tree grows towards the sun, we, too, must grow towards our life-giving force. While fears may arise while aspiring toward the life-giving force of a dream, facing one’s fears associated with that process creates how we develop self-esteem.
Practical Self-Esteem Exercise
Self-Esteem in the New Year
Let us examine this in light of a personal dream, aspiration, or goal. It is New Year’s, and January is around the corner. Janus, the two-faced Roman god, reminds us that one side of the image peers into the past, ready to give up what does not work. The other side of the image peers toward the future, aspiring for newness to come. Whether they be goals, dreams, aspirations, or resolutions, name one thing you need to leave behind in 2023. Name one thing that you need to adopt for 2024.
While similar to a resolution, this does not need to be an exercise of despair. While goal setting is comparable to a resolution, in the exercise, you are simply making room to bring better things into your life, not engaging a problem to resolve. You have the whole year to work at it. What you are looking for is small successes, which will create how self-esteem amplifies in your life; furthermore, successes with self-esteem lead to our ability to tackle more challenging goals, allowing inroads to further levels of self-esteem that would not have been possible without the foundation of small successes present.
Notice that our protagonist loses herself in thought. While the example may sound dire, thought is the nature of consciousness, and we must learn to steer the ship of consciousness in a direction constructive for us to manifest our dreams. Obsticles will arise. That is the nature of life. But, through learning to problem-solve these obstacles, we create the means for self-esteem to manifest.
Self-esteem occurs when we identify a goal and commit to the work necessary to achieve its presence. The old saying goes, “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.” We need to work, but I don’t see why we can’t have a little fun during that journey.
A New Year Blessing & Food 4 Thought
What habits are you giving up in 2023? What can you work towards as an aspiration for 2024? May blessings find you, my friends, as you envision, chart a course, and advance confidently in the direction of your dreams.
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One response to “Self-Esteem: 2 Create Positive Meaning through Lived Action”
I’ve been that girl and, quite frankly, that middle-aged woman. I don’t think it’s a self-esteem thing as much as it’s simply going through a low point and/or saving ourselves from that judgemental voice within.
Now I say, “This is hard right now, but everyone goes through hard things. May I be happy and well.”