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Does not the gratitude of the dog put to shame any man who is ungrateful to his benefactors?
Be gentle to all and stern with yourself.
Gratitude and to Live Life with Intent
What does it mean to show gratitude for one’s benefactor? Is it gracious to say thank-you? Or should we turn our backs to the processes that assure a degree of survival and civility in the presence of a collective plight to assure our individual, familial, and collective survival, if not well-being? People talk, and talk a lot they do. Yet, how often do they live life with an intent for action rather than just words?
Driving home today, I heard a wonderful radio show. It discussed the power that grace has on marriage. One excerpt stood out to me in particular. It spoke of being kind and gracious to your spouse while being frugal with yourself. Hearing that, I can’t help but think, how would society look like, if we decided to live with that simple rule? Could we not raise a generation where kindness forms the foundation for social, emotional, and rational development? In this article, let us explore the mysteries behind gratitude as told by the wisdom of two adages that correlate with the wisdom the Saint’s offered above.
Don’t Bite the Hand that Feeds You…
My dog has never bitten me. Maybe, that is because we are great friends. They say a that “dog is man’s best friend.” I believe it, but I wouldn’t say that just about men. My dog has an alpha, but I know he loves my wife and children as well. Animals do not see things in a polarized nature as humans do. He sees his pack, for all its good points and bad points. From his eyes, we are a pack. We represent that primordial group, which assures survival and well-being for the individual and the collective. I notice some simple wisdom in this construct. Why doesn’t my dog bit me? He doesn’t bite others either, unless from a basis of fear. Could it be that he expresses gratitude for those who care for him?
How true is the adage that states “don’t bite the hand that feeds you?” When one is bitten, the skin can break. Even if the skin does not tear, the act can break the nurturing bond present. Yet, when that occurs, I cannot help but think, how troublesome one act becomes when dependency is present.
One must always remember to practice gratitude, especially towards those who provide and care for others. Yet, how often do we see the nature of dependency turn upon itself and allow entitlement to permeate? Entitlements are the equivalent of biting the hand of the benefactor? It is an ugly state of affairs. Yet, I cannot help but think. How much can we learn from the simplicity that nature shows us? Yet, these lessons should point us to reflect upon the current moment. We assumed consciousness as God had in the fall. Yet, why is there such a propensity to deny it for its value. If we use it for its strengths, at least we open doors of possibility for personal and collective growth.
Three Strikes and Your Out…
I don’t watch much baseball. But I have always liked the “three strikes and your out” rule. Why should we give chance, after chance, after chance? Should we not enforce a rule that allows others to step up to the plate? I have a general rule regarding the relationship between patience and a lack of gratitude. It goes like this:
Strike one, it’s on you. Strike two, it’s on me. Should there be a strike three?
Thinking of gratitude, what are the first thoughts or emotions that arise in response to what you read above? I know why I made this as a general rule. Other’s might have more patience than I. Not that patience is a bad thing. I believe it to be a cornerstone of gratitude. To be grateful, one must master the art of delayed gratification, a keystone of patience. One must be content with what exists in the current moment. Yet, how much anxiety is present in a mind focused on the future? How many minds do you see depressed or burdened by images of a past no longer present? These negative energy forces encompass the psyche at a individual and collective level. What gives? Can we even attempt to create an attitude of gratitude within such circumstances?
Gratitude and Intent
We live in a culture of chances. It is almost expected en-mass that one continues to give chance after chance. This happens even though action has yet to see fruition. As stated above, strike one is on the giver. Everyone makes mistakes. Yet it is up to a cognizant person to examine, adapt, and move on from those follies. However, strike two is different. If one gives a chance to another person, there is only one reason strike two exists. It exists because of the faith the receiver has given to an outside agent’s capacity to change. From this perspective, the follies are shared, much as a foliex a deux, or a group psychosis. The blame rests on the receiver as much as it is does on the giver. In this case, the giver placed faith into something fallible, and as we know, all people are fallible.
Now, should we allow a strike three. Yes, even in baseball, three strikes are the threshold for one to strike out. However, one must evaluate, set, and maintain boundaries when using this method. We grow, and this process takes time, and possibly, even more strikes than three. That is where the game comes into play. Yet, we must also know and adapt to the rules of the game. If we do not, by what course can humanity ensure progress in a mutually beneficial direction.
You see, gratitude is an action, not a state of being. It is our developmental duty to give thanks, learn, redirect, and move on. Hopefully by strike two, we developed the ability to know the pitcher. With that knowledge, we might just be able to see what is coming before we commit. Even if we do not, we have another at-bat to get it right. This is the underpinning of adaptation.
Our inner calling requires of us the will to act with intent upon what is present. Remember, that gratitude from this perspective is an active state of being, not a passive ideal bestowed. It takes stern discipline and a capacity to work on oneself to create an true attitude of gratitude.
The Saint’s Corner
In today’s philosophical and spiritual quandary, we examine the root nature of gratitude as an action, not a philosophical debate. Our saints remind us to show gratitude. While the words ‘Thank You’ are important, it is as important to show gratitude through action. To be stern with one’s self, one’s ethics, morals, and values, one can direct life from a position of strength. It is through unwavering movement towards right mind, right intent, and right values that we create a life well-lived. Be gentle to all, but stern with yourself. Yet do not forget, it is in that practice that we create, and are not given a life well-lived.
Look around. Do you see gratitude by practice? It is there, but it seems to require intense effort to uncover it. Our culture is so pressed to move on from one distraction to the next. Yet, I wonder, what can we do with a little stern discipline towards a right end? If we can link that to the beauty we have been granted by creation itself, I wonder. Can we surpass the nature of the animals we willingly place ourselves above on a ruling throne? While not a saint, I am reminded of Mark Twain’s once powerful quote
“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.”
What can we do with a little wisdom like that? To forgive. To let go. Even to those that may have done wrong. I believe that is Grace in action. Practice, and see what possibilities arise. Forgive, and be forgiven. Yet, seek out those opportunities to put in the right and good work. Even a small, yet stern shift in the grace and our ability to forgive can make a world of difference.
May blessings find you on your journeys to navigate your moral path towards interpersonal well-being and a wholeness of psyche. Remember to envision your path and chart its course. When you know where you are going, it is easier to get there. Lastly, while on the way, don’t forget, to advance confidently in that direction your dreams bestow upon you. It is there that the kernels of grace through forgiveness and the act of letting go are born.
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