Seed of Mercy Sewn
The darkest hour now breaks
Fall light will guide me
~Dr. Thomas Maples
A Seed of Mercy Sewn
Have you ever done something that caused you profound guilt or shame? In those moments, seeking mercy can bring comfort and hope.
This is a uniquely human experience. We possess a conscience built for this very purpose—to know right from wrong, good from evil; these are all just reflections of the moral knowledge we inherited from our fall from Grace. This essential, emotional segment is sewn into the fabric of our being, and it guides our choices.
Without it, not even the capacity for remorse would exist to thwart ill intent.
Yet, even when we are at our lowest and the darkest hour seems permanent, there is always a path forward.
As the haiku suggests, once the seed of Mercy is sewn, the Darkest Hour will break.
It is in this moment that the possibility of mercy is displayed. Let’s now explore the power behind the gift of receiving and extending divine grace.
The Weight of the Inheritance: Conscience, Guilt, and the Fall
Shame. What an isolative state of affairs. It is the immediate, crushing weight of realizing we have failed a standard we know to be true. Our inheritance—the moral knowledge gained from the Fall—is divided, a constant source of internal conflict. Yet, lying within this very essence is an opening for the divine to mend the divide, an opportunity presented only by the weight of the soul’s heavy burden.
Our conscience guides the way. It functions as an inner, foundational law based upon self-awareness and the capacity for moral discernment. When I think of the conscience, I see it as a concept akin to Michelangelo, who did not create David, but merely freed the form he knew already existed within the unsculpted rock. Similarly, our conscience perceives the true moral form—the should that underlies each action.
As the Apostle Paul reminds us:
For it is not those who hear the law who are just in the sight of God; rather, those who observe the law will be justified. For when the Gentiles who do not have the law by nature observe the prescriptions of the law, they are a law for themselves even though they do not have the law. They show that the demands of the law are written in their hearts, while their conscience also bears witness and their conflicting thoughts accuse or even defend them on the day when, according to my gospel, God will judge people’s hidden works through Christ Jesus. (Romans 2:14-16)
The conscience serves as this inner judge, holding up our hidden works to the standard written on our hearts. We all fall into the guilt this process produces. Yet, it is precisely in this exposed place—in the self-assessment fostered by conscience—that the seed of Mercy springs, preparing the ground for God’s merciful state.
When the Darkest Hour Breaks: Mercy, Self-Assessment, and the Inner Judge
Mercy is a gift once given, but twice blessed. As Shakespeare so powerfully reminds us:
The quality of mercy is not strained; It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven Upon the place beneath. It is twice blest; It blesseth him that gives and him that takes: ~ William Shakespeare
Shakespeare reminds us here of the profound quality that mercy has on the soul, giving its blessing to the other. While this stanza shows the power of mercy that comes from an external source, let’s say a forgiving parent or neighbor, mercy is not solely an outside job. The Inner Judge within our own heart also desperately needs a seed of grace.
When you look in the mirror, who looks back? Have you ever pondered this experience? Of course, it is you. But what do you see? Perfection, or something to work on? The answer here is a double-edged sword. If you see perfection, there is something clearly wrong, even distorted, as that allows no capacity for self-growth. However, if you see nothing right, there is also a significant problem.
Within this capacity, the inner critic, in its most hostile form, has created an environment where healthy self-assessment and, therefore, self-realized development are impossible. This inner voice may seek a perfect, finished state; yet in its aim, it simply forgets that it is a work of art in progress.
If you find yourself in the conundrum of self-condemnation, unable to move past guilt and shame because the judge within never rests, you must plant the seed of mercy inwardly. True mercy begins when you extend the same divine grace that you need from God to yourself. Only by showing self-mercy can you disarm that hostile inner critic and begin the work of reconciliation, self-assessment, and viewing yourself as a work in progress. This is a skill to perfect, not a destination to attain.
By the Light of the Fall be Guided
Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
The human psyche presents many paradoxes. Perhaps that is why the parables spoken by Jesus in the Beatitudes resonate so deeply. They cut through the rigid structure of opposites to create cohesion and grace between these often opposing themes, making true self-development possible.
This is the nature of the “fall light.” Not only is this a play on words, but the fall season also brings forth more darkness than light. It represents a vital time where inward reflection is prioritized, as that lack of outward illumination gives more space for necessary, inward activities.
It is through this reflection that we discover mercy as the antidote to judgment. It must be cultivated within, disarming the hostile Inner Judge, so that it may be outwardly directed. Mercy nurtures empathy, restoring our ability to nurture relationships with our neighbors, seeing them—and ourselves—as a work in progress. While we are not yet perfect, we must choose to begin.
To truly transform, let us explore one exercise we can undertake to nurture that inner light, pushing back the shadows of the psyche that may hide its presence:
Harvest the “Seed of Mercy.” Like a gardener, consciously choose to plant a flower and pick a weed each day. How long will it take you to build a garden bountiful with Mercy?
That is a question for us all to consider as we learn to advance confidently in the direction of our dreams.
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