Table of contents
Words of Loving Kindness
Put your thoughts to sleep, do not let them cast a shadow over the moon of your heart.
Rumi
Loving Kindness & Stress?
Do you show yourself loving kindness? As a parent, I know that at times, it can be difficult to enact this practice. So how can we take a moment, and show ourselves a little compassion while practicing loving kindness.
Let us take a moment and reflect. When you watch media of any sort, what do you see? It seems that so many people engage in autopilot, yet so few are happy. Does anyone take time and smell there roses, let alone engage the moment. We are stressed, and it seems like we now pass that stress onto our children. No wonder I noticed a billboard the other day that said that one in three children suffers from toxic stress.
What the hell are we doing to the next generation, and for what reason?
This post came to me as I put my youngest son to sleep. He has had some problems initiating sleep lately. To tell the truth, that is an all too familiar path. It sometimes affects me. My first response was frustration. As I have sat with this, I realize maybe something is pointing to that billboard. How can we shift the toxic stress factors that plague us? How can we create a means to practice a little self-compassion and loving kindness?
Eustress v. Distress
To show ourself loving kindness, we must learn to identify and engage developmentally appropriate stress. Simply put, eustress is good stress. It helps promote growth because it draws our attention to something that needs transitioning and keeps the attention long enough for effective behavioral change to occur. This differs significantly from distress, which can impede a person’s ability to initiate or maintain attention (boredom) or create an overwhelm where behavioral paralysis occurs.
What my son was going through was boredom-related stress. Bedtime equals winding down, and winding down was very different from the excitement he recently underwent watching others play semi-scary games on YouTube just minutes prior. His psyche was primed for anxiety, creating fear as he attempted to wind down and secondarily created difficulties initiating the tedious sleep task.
Now, my reaction was frustration. I didn’t show him self-compassion or loving kindness. I will chalk this up for my parent of the year award, or lack thereof, for 2023. Sorry for the joke, but sometimes you have to make light of parenting to glean the true lessons present. But it also created space for me to reflect upon what is essential to a child’s development.
Reflection allows for growth, which in turn allows for love to flourish. At the time, I was frustrated. However, as I sat present with the emotion, it dissipated. The genuine primary emotion of a loving father emerged. This father wanted to sleep himself. Yet, I had to assist my son in learning how to calm an active mind to welcome Mr. Sandman into the room. I believe that is loving kindness in action. Now, I am willing to bet that is love. What are your thoughts?
3 Simple Words for Loving Kindness
Good Night Tidings
Good night, sleep tight,
Don't let the bed bugs bite.
We hold the key to our children's dreams
Under the pillow of our own.
A wise man once said,
"Put your thoughts to sleep,
do not let them cast a shadow
over the moon of your heart." (Rumi)
& never forget to say
The most important words of tender caring.
The expression of Love
In three heartfelt words.
To the ones
Who need it most.
Conclusion
No person is perfect. No parent is perfect. But we can do our best, at the end of the day, to let those we love know that simple fact. What three heartfelt words come to your mind as you read this?
With gratitude, my friends. May your journey be blessed as you envision, chart a course, and advance confidently in the direction of your dreams.
More from Dr. Tom
It is our choice to believe in the beauty of dreams unfolding. When we direct our mind’s eye to belief, faith guides us. It leads us in the direction necessary to realize our Self. This realization unfolds into its most optimal being.
Are you being your best possible Self? Dr. Thomas Maples explores our personal and collective journey to realize our ultimate potential through the lens of psychology, personal development, and the myths that drive our journey forward.
Fill Your Glass: The Disciplined Practice of Loving-Kindness – A Sacred Journey: Where Myths Unfold and Potential Awakens
- Fill Your Glass: The Disciplined Practice of Loving-Kindness
- The Architecture of Joy: Navigating Darkness to Find Your Light
- How to Find Spiritual Grounding: Healing a Fractured Soul through Integrity
- The Unshakable Anchor: Building Hope in a Fractured World
- Finding Grace in the Messy: Catholic Wisdom and the Psychology of Intentional Parenting
