Self-Control and the Sanctity of Spiritual Grounding

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Self-control I give
To thee oh Lord, take my plea
Soulful spirit rests
~Thomas C. Maples

Self-Control and the Wandering Spirit

Self-control, or a sense of being rooted by the weight of soul, is that spiritual force that grounds us. It gives us a sense of presence in the eye of the many storms we will face. These storms may be internal or external, emotional or relational, by impulse or design. Even so, our capacity to control the self is a mitigating factor. It directs the highly charged energy of spirit towards its natural aim. For it is when the spirit has an aim that its own life-giving force emerges. The Self then acquires its target and reaches its destination. That is the spiritual union with the creative design (Telos/purpose) it was made to assume.

This may, at first, sound deeply philosophical. It is. But it is also deeply theological and touches upon the root elements of psychological development, as it is a customary process of making meaning in one’s life. In this article, we will examine self-control, not as an act of rigid restriction, but as an opening to deepen the fruits we are given when we become deeply grounded. For it is in the process of rooting ourselves that the psychological grounding produces fruit of the spiritual kind (Galatians 5:22). This is where soul and spirit can meet, at rest, in the elements of the Self one has created.

The Paradox of Liberty: Self-Control as a Freedom to Serve

For you were called for freedom, brothers.^j But do not use this freedom as an opportunity for the flesh; rather, serve^* one another through love.

(Galatians 5:13)

To the modern mind, the idea of self-control represents a restraint from personal freedom. Liberty is often defined, especially in a modern context, as an absence of all restraints. Just look around, and tell me if you can see this in action, especially in the United States. In this country, uncontrolled liberty creates inroads into suffering on both ends of the paradox. Yet this is not how freedom was defined within a theological framework not so long ago.

Instead of seeing liberty as a freedom to give into every impulse the wandering spirit may place before us—for that is tied to the mind’s natural capacity to wander to ever more exciting, yet ensnaring things—let us view personal freedom as a mastery over oneself. Therefore, this mastery allows us to do what is “right and just,” and express a freedom for, not just a freedom from.

Freedom for, Not Freedom from

A fundamental difference exists in the soul that “escapes” in flights of fancy and the soul that fights to arrive. Mother Teresa (Saint Teresa of Calcutta) embodied this tradition when she said:

I will never attend an anti-war rally; if you have a peace rally, invite me.

(Saint Teresa of Calcutta)

Here, we see the essence of right-intentioned will. Knowing when to say “yes” and when to say “no”—as the above saying shows—acts as a grounding force to the spirit through resolve, that inner sense of self-control needed to be “present in the eye of the storm.”

A Service of Love: The Vessel and the Bow

Self-control I give

Self-control is a service of love for giving—two words, and one: forgiving. As the haiku alludes to above, “Self-control I give.” Yet where does this capacity dwell?

In the inner sanctum of the soul, one must find that nascent ember that can strike a flame of passion, for which loving kindness can be offered. Yet many sanctuaries may be cracked or, even worse, absent altogether. Whether the former or the latter, one must develop the ordered nature of self-control to create and or mend the vessel. This way, it may hold the nurturing fluids capable of fanning the flames of spirit when they arise.

It is reciprocal in this fashion: that which we nurture in grounding will create the fuel for the spirit once it has a target to project its “flight of fancy” upon. If Self-control is the bow, love is the bolt to which the spirit will aim, to follow its natural course towards its life-giving and sustaining force. We just need to know where to aim its intent.

Ordering the Nature of Heart (Ordo Amoris)

If self-control is the bow, love is the bolt by which the bow aims will inevitably find its target. Yet, in order to create an inner sanctum, one must find the intent of one’s aim.

Here, we must turn to the ordering of one’s heart so that we may find a just endeavor by which to take aim. For it is from this intent that we fortify the vessel within, so that the target of our desire finds its mark. But how do we know where to aim?

Where do the wars and where do the conflicts among you come from? Is it not from your passions that make war within your members? You covet but do not possess. You kill and envy but you cannot obtain; you fight and wage war. You do not possess because you do not ask. You ask but do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.

~James 4:1-3

To thee, oh Lord, take my plea

But he bestows a greater grace; therefore, it says:

“God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”

~James 4:6

Lord, take my plea. What greater gift of humility can one give but to ask another to take their plea? Not necessarily as a means for an end, but an act of contrite communication itself.

To order the nature of the heart, we give up personal will to follow the whispering call of God. This takes faith, at its highest form. Even as I write these words, I feel some degree of doubt in even the ability to fully give into this ideal. Yet, it is in this trepidation that I know God is working, through the potential for growth to break through. One wrestles with such insurmountable questions that, in the end, have complexly simple answers of origin.

St. Augustine wrote on the order of love in his treatise The City of God. Augustine defines the order of love (ordo amoris) as a higher-order virtue by which we define lesser versus greater elements of love.

The Bolt, the Target, and Higher-Order Love

Level of Love	The Action	The “Aim” in Your Life
1. God	Frui (Enjoyment)	The ultimate “Target” and source of grounding.
2. Neighbor	Uti (Service)	Fellow travelers; love them “in God.”
3. The Body	Uti (Care)	The “Vessel” that must be mended and ordered.
4. Material Goods	Uti (Utility)	Tools for survival, not ends in themselves.

(Augustine, City of God XV.22)

The Supreme Aim (God): For St. Augustine, the only Being to “enjoy” (frui) for his own sake is God

For we as humans are made in His image, as well as all that exists, is omnipresent in the creation given. If God is all there is, we can see glimpses of his presence in all there is, especially in the idea that we must freely choose his love as a means for spiritual grounding.

The Shared Journey (Neighbor and Self)

Who is your neighbor? What are their politics or religious beliefs? Even if they differ, can you see the similarities? Even at its most basic foundation, Adam and Eve, Husband and Wife, create a nuclear family unit. They are not the same, but different. I wonder if it is the internal pressure in this division that can mend the internal wars of self? Those wars that can spread from the individual, to the family, to the community, society, nation, etc.

The Sacred Vessel (The Body)

I always thought Hindi philosophy had a wonderful rendition of this in the concept of Atman and Brahman. Atman, or the self, seeks Brahman, or the universal construct. As Christians, how can we care for the Sacred without first learning to care for our physical selves as an instrument of the soul? The body is the temple, order its heart, and the bow and bolt will be a finely turned instrument to find its aim.

Our Instrumental World (Material Goods)

How many would put this as the supreme aim? Sad, but true. Yet, these earthly goods are to be used (uti) for our individual and shared survival in service. They are not ends in and of themselves.

Soulful Spirit Rests

As the bolt of soul finds its mark, it inevitably rests. Have you ever gone on vacation? The chaos of packing before the trip, the heightened anxieties, time, dealing with others, and having to pack the contents of a home into baggage to be lugged to a new destination? It’s crazy-making in its greatest form.

Yet, when you arrive, what happens? It’s almost magic.

Take, Lord, and receive all my liberty, my memory, my understanding, and my entire will. All I have and call my own, You have given all to me. To You, Lord, I return it. Everything is Yours; do with it what You will. Give me only Your love and Your grace, for this is enough for me.

~St. Ignatius, par. 234

In God’s Grace it is Claimed

We have embarked here upon a rather long journey to find Self-Control as a sanctity for Spiritual Grounding. I know of no grander virtue surrounding self-control than a person’s capacity to love, and love in an ordered way. For it is in knowing what and how to love that we ultimately express this in a way that leads to Self-development, even amid the chaos the ego self will attach.

When self-control aligns our love with this hierarchy, the soul moves from the chaos described in James 4:1-3 to the radical freedom of St. Ignatius’s Suscipe. We no longer “spend our passions” on things that cannot satisfy; instead, we aim the “bolt” of our spirit toward the only Target that can truly hold it.

May God’s Grace find you friends on your journey to light. May that journey be blessed with good health, good relations, and plenty of dreams.